Written by Parents of preteens and teenage kids often wonder how to discipline children. Is your child a teenager or a preteen? Is it getting more and more difficult for you to make your child study or do routine things? Does your child use abusive language while talking to you? You may be one of those parents who constantly worry of your child’s future and their capability to differentiate between right and wrong.
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Tips To Discipline Children
Do not control
Children in their teens are a bit rebellious, want to try out new things and are keenly interested in voicing their opinion. Treat them as very young adults. Check their likes and dislikes. One thing parents forget is that they should not be controlling children in this age group. Learn the art of getting tasks done voluntarily and rewarding children for good things. Too much of exerting control to discipline children, results in kids telling lies to cover up what they should not have been doing.
Empower your child
Being a parent, you know what is good for your child. So you set up a list of dos and donts and expect them to strictly adhere to these rules. The aim is to protect children from harm. However, by doing this to discipline children, you can only protect them within the confines of your home. Once your children are outside, at school or with friends, they must know what is right for them. They must know how to differentiate between good and bad. They must know how to choose the right kind of friends. You cannot be everywhere with your preteens and teenage kids to protect them. Merely controlling their actions as per your will is not going to protect your child. Rather, your child will grow frustrated of constantly being scolded and may resort to harmful ways to vent his frustration.
Empower your child so that he knows what is right for him. To achieve this, first and foremost, accept your child the way he is. Many times, parents already envision their child to be a super star of some sort and they try their best to make the child fit into this mould. Your child may have his own ideas and aspirations and may not wish to be what you want him to be. Accept this fact and give your child the freedom to pursue his ideas, hobbies and aspirations. Some ideas and aspirations may be weird, but do not stop him from exploring them. You have to let your child learn by making mistakes. This is a very effective way to discipline children.
Deal sensibly with all types of friends
The same goes for his choice of friends. You may not like some friends of your child thinking they may mislead him. But do not stop him outright from meeting such friends, else he may stop confiding in you and continue to meet such friends secretly. Let him meet such friends, get to know his friends, may be you have a wrong notion about them. Keep a tab on your child at the same time, discuss what happens casually on a daily basis. If you find anything wrong, express your displeasure gently but firmly.
Discipline children the fun way
Discipline does not mean strictly adhering to rules. Bend the rules a little. For instance, it is study time and your child is watching his favorite T.V. show. Do not yell or switch off the T.V. Sit next to your child and say something nice about the show. This indicates your acceptance and an offer to be a good friend to your child. Next, tell him it is time to study and once the T.V. show is over, he has to turn it off and start studying. Cook his favorite food for dinner as a reward.
You can practice this technique to discipline children in other situations as well. Soon you will notice considerable change in your child’s attitude.
Imagine a hard-to-please boss who constantly nags you. The mere thought of it gives you jitters. You would not want to be like this to your child, would you? Discipline children in a friendly manner. They will soon do their daily tasks all by themselves without you having to get these done forcibly. This technique also lets you gain the confidence of your child and be his best friend. Remember you cannot demand respect, you ought to command it. And the best way discipline children is by being a good friend and confidante.
So here is a simple MANTRA for you to discipline children:
ACCEPT – EMPOWER – DISCIPLINE in a compassionate and friendly manner.
To deal with aggressive behavior in children, read “Aggressive behavior in children”
