Hilariously Funny Things My Kid Said To Me

Hilariously Funny Things My Kid Said To Me

funny things kids say

I guess, most of us have naughty, pesky, fiddly kids who keep talking non-stop throughout the day! When was the last time you heard them out without throwing up your hands in the air? Chances are that you have been missing out on all the funny things they have to say. These small incidents can make you smile, laugh and giggle.

I happened to pick these funny incidents from my FaceBook timeline that took place over a span of 4 years. My son has since grown from a teeny weenie Kindergarten student to a 9 year old boy. One thing however, remains the same. He is still naughty and keeps me busy.

Do check these cute and funny things kids say. Am sure you will find them funny too. And do not forget to go over your own FaceBook timeline. Moments from your past can bring a smile back on your face, especially moments related to your children.

Funny Things Kids Say

1. My kid sees our wedding snaps. Says he wants to marry too. His dad asks him, “So who is the girl?” He says,” Why do you need one?” His dad says, “so that she loves and cares for you when you are sick and remains your best friend for life. So he says, “Then I’ll marry mamma.” Will not forget this one for sure!

2. My son’s friend falls sick and he tells him, “Come to my mom. She is a very good doctor”. I was kind of flattered, honestly.

3. One evening, in front of the television – “Mamma why do you keep changing channels when the hero tries to kiss the heroine?”

4. Home from school, my son tells me, “Today teacher taught us all about insurance. So did you understand?” I ask. He says, “Yes”. “What did you understand?” I ask. He says, “I understood everything, but then I forgot!” – Which means, “No more questions please…” I guess!

5. What can a little boy worry about when his leg gets fractured? – “When will I be able to play?” Maybe…Ishaan’s first reaction to his plastered leg was –“How will I scratch if it itches inside?”

6. Latest buzz in my son’s class “Mamma, Rudra brought two wriggly worms in a box, I loved watching them crawl. I even touched them and poked them with a stick!” Yuck…That is so much unlike me; I would’ve jumped and screamed like I do when I find a worm in a pea pod, sometimes.

7. My child’s little friend next door, comes to our place without informing her dad. She gets in, closes our door and tells me, “Aunty, its ok. I didn’t ask Dadda, he’s busy doing potty.” I din know what to say!!!!!!!! It was so damn funny!!!!!

8. Mom, my friends were queuing up for your cutlets! So I traded them with what they had brought. Too bad Abid did not get my cutlets; I didn’t like what was in his tiffin.” I have to gently remind Ishaan, that it is not fair to leave one child and be good to others. So he adds to my workload – “Mamma, make me another batch on Monday, will make sure that the entire class gets cutlets!”

9. Honest opinion from Ishaan on my new outfit! He tells me “Mamma, you look like ‘Mutthachan’ – my father (nanaji in Malayalam). I look at him, puzzled and he says,”Mumma you know Muttachan has a nice fat tummy.”

10. Baking time today! Baked a chocolate and caramalized apple cake with my little assistant. He tells me, “Mamma, I’m a baker and you are a bakess!”

11. This happened when Ishaan was in nursery class and was learning phonics. “100% ha ha ha! Phonics is funny and so is English! Ishaan reads TOSHIBA with the O sound as in Orange and A sound as in Apple! No problems, we’ll get this resolved together!

12. Ishaan reads tickers nowadays, I change the news channel when he is around! But this was one sure was funny – he said, “Why are they breaking the news?”, “what is ‘news’?”How to break it? I want to break it too!”

13. My Toofan express comes home from school and this is what he says, “ Piyush threw my book, pushed Ria, opened Shivani’s water bottle, spilled the water down and threw Arnav’s hanky in that water. Then he started running around the class. Teacher punished him. Very good!” Before I could react, he just disappeared inside to fetch his toys. I guess, he was waiting all the way to get home and spill the ‘oh so happening’ news!

14. A neighbour’s kid said this to me – “Aunty, at our place, bean bags are not for sitting on. Mamma dumps clothes on them and we all take out clothes from the bean bag to wear. Don’t you buy any clothes?”

15. Ishaan’s friend’s maasi (maternal aunt) comes over for a visit. He says,” Mom, why don’t you have a sister? No problem, he says,” I’ll be your sister. I say, “You are a boy.”…So he says, okay, I’ll be your boy sister! I didn’t know what to say. He was all of 3 years at that time.

16. Katti Batti time. Ishaan tells me of his katti batti friends who keep changing daily. Can relate to this after all these years.

17. My son tells me a story “Once upon a time… there lived 3 cars…Papa car, mamma car and one small ‘kutty’ car.” (kutty meaning child in Malayalam) Wonder why boys are so crazy about cars…

18. I read this on my son’s little friend’s t-shirt: “SAW IT.LOVED IT.THREW A FIT FOR IT.AND FINALLY GOT IT.!”

19. “I’m a fooder”, says my kid while spreading cheese on bread. I give him a weird look and he says, “You know the one who prepares food.” I tell him, “That’s a cook.” He says, “But ‘fooder’ sounds better!”

20. Stiff neck syndrome! I’m not able to move my head sideways! And my little boy is getting a ‘Yes’ for all the ‘Nos’ from me.

21. The TV remote is not functioning and an army helicopter that was idle since ages, was running around madly. Made a quick connection and realised who was behind the battery swap!

22. An SMS doesn’t get delivered despite several attempts on a rainy day. So when I complain, my little one says , “Mamma, SMS baarish me bheeg gaya. Phir se bhejo ” meaning your SMS got wet in the rain. Send it again.

23. My son is fiddling around with the chess board thinking he knows to play Chess. He says, “King Uncle is riding a horse and Queen Aunty is riding an elephant and the soldiers are at war.” I have to lose the game for him else all players get tossed on the floor. I remember dad losing out to me while playing carom just to make me smile.

This one is a killer.
24. I try telling my little one – “There are children who don’t even have food to eat and here you are, not drinking milk.” He smartly tells me – “You can go and give the milk to them.”

25. My son tells me on a rainy day – “I’m not able to go down and play. God uncle is watering the trees. When will the trees stop asking for water? I just smiled.

26. The lady on the first floor must be happy. For a change…it’s raining plastic clips on her terrace…you know the ones used for hanging clothes…thanks to my child.

27. Someone has quietly taken the jar of cream biscuits, eaten the cream, joined the biscuits and put them back in. I found this out today morning. Little fellow gets it from me, when he comes back from school today grrrrrrrrrrr….

28. My son’s definition of a sore throat: The germs are digging my throat with an excavator. Give me some warm water to “dhush” (kill) them.

What funny thing did your kid say to you today? Do share in the comments below.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic’s at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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